Personality Check
by WritingFromTheSoul
Summary: When Tony feels angry and depressed, he turns to a new type of therapy...hypnosis. What happens when something goes wrong, and DiNozzo is turned into his seven-year-old self? Inspired by a certain episode of Monk. Rated K plus. Please, read and REVIEW! Minor Tiva.
1. Chapter 1

"Hey, Tony!"

Tony turned around.

"Oh. Morning, McGee." Tony sat down at his desk, tired as hell. There were dark circles under his drooping eyes, his shirt untucked and splayed over his pants. He flopped down in the chair, and papers flew everywhere.

Ziva eyed him confusedly. This was not the Tony DiNozzo she knew.

"Tony, are you feeling all right?"

"Sure. What the hell?" He yawned tiredly, burying his face in his arms.

"Do you want any coffee or something?"

He shook his head, his desk squeaking.

"Fourth Avenue homicide!" Gibbs said sharply, suddenly appearing in the bullpen. Tony gave a start, causing tons of paper to fly everywhere.

"Clean that up, DiNozzo, and meet us out in the car." Gibbs said curtly. Tony yawned and snorted. He bent over, groaning, and began to pick up the papers.

* * *

Tony yawned, holding the camera. He snapped photos of the Petty Officer's bloody shirt and bludgeoned head.

Suddenly, Gibbs squinted.

"DiNozzo."

"Yeah, boss." Tony said, slightly irate.

"Bag that evidence." Gibbs instructed, pointing to a shred of paper poking out of the breast pocket of the dead Marine's shirt.

"Okay." He grumbled, reaching for the tweezers and bending over to pick it up. As soon as he picked up, however, he dropped it.

"Pick it up, DiNozzo!" Gibbs said, irritated.

"SHUT UP!" Tony suddenly roared. "SHUT THE HELL UP!"

The whole house went silent.

Ziva stared at him, and McGee looked like he was choking back a snicker or two.

"What did you say to me, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, deadly quiet.

"I said to shut the hell up." Tony said, ripping off the camera and setting it down. He strode out angrily, slamming the door behind him of the apartment. Suddenly, a hand caught his arm. He whipped around to Ziva, with wide, concerned eyes.

"Tony, please."

"Get off me, Zi. I'm going."

"Tony, please don't-"

"GET AWAY!" Tony screamed. "I'm over it! Leave me alone!"

And he ran off, leaving an alone and utterly hurt Ziva standing in the dust, staring after him blankly.

Tony had started running. He didn't know why he was so pissed off. He just was. Maybe it was from the lack of sleep he was getting. Or maybe something was bugging him. But something, something apparently was so irritating that he snapped like a twig. He stopped, panting, on a sidewalk. Apparently, the apartment wasn't far from NCIS. A gust of wind blew through the city.

Suddenly, something slapped Tony in the face. He peeled a small piece of paper off of his face.

_Dr. Jacque Clampton_

_Therapeutic Hypnotist_

_Guaranteed Happiness!_

_1-800-567-9824_

At the bottom was an address.

Tony studied the words "Guaranteed happiness."

He twisted the paper in his fingers. Suddenly, he folded in neatly and put it in his pocket, and walked off towards NCIS.

Laying in his bed, Tony took out the paper again, and read it. Over and over and over.

Suddenly, he flashbacked to today. His own words bounced around in his head. He suddenly felt ashamed. He had pushed away the people he loved the most.

And, now, he was paying for it.

He closed his eyes, desperately praying for sleep.

He shut his eyes, and fell into a restless sleep.

He found himself standing in NCIS again. He looked around. Apparently he was alone. He saw no one else. Gibbs suddenly appeared at the end of the bullpen.

"Boss!" Tony cried, wanting to reconcile with his boss.

"Tony. You have to leave." Gibbs said, urgent.

"Why?" Tony asked. Suddenly, Ziva appeared at his side.

"Please, Tony. Leave!" She cried, pushing him away.

"Why the hell-"

"GET OUT!" She screamed. Suddenly, two gunshots. Gibbs and Ziva dropped, blood pooling around their bodies. Tony yelled in surprise and jumped back. He dropped to his knees, and stared up.

At himself.

Another Tony stared at him, smiling evilly.

"You _bastard!" _Tony shouted, running at the man. However, Evil Tony sidestepped him.

"Look at what you did, Tony." The man grabbed Tony and forced him around. Tony thrashed out, but the other Tony did not relent.

"I didn't do this, you son of a bitch!" Tony cried. Evil Tony let him go. Green eyes met identical green eyes. Except these were cold and unloving.

"Yet you did. Because I am you, and you are me." Evil Tony grinned and dissipated, leaving Tony with the bodies of the two of the closest people he had in his life.

"NO!" Tony screamed.

Suddenly, he woke up. He was shivering, even thought it was a summer night. He was sweating buckshots. He switched on the light, still shaking.

He seized the slip of paper off the nightstand and looked at it only for a brief second before rushing his bathroom to change.

He pulled up at the address. It was a house, on the outskirts of the city. He checked his watch: 1:45 am. He shook his head and knocked on the door.

It creaked open. On the threshold stood a man. He was balding, and looked maybe in his mid-fifties. He wore large wire-framed glasses that made his eyes seem as round as dinner plates.

"Dr. Clampton?" Tony asked the man, furrowing his brow.

"Speaking." The man smiled crookedly. "I assume you are here for my hypnosis."

"Uh, yes." Tony felt slightly uneasy.

"Come in." The man disappeared into the house. Tony gently creaked open the door and stepped inside.

The house had a cabin-like air, with wood walls and wooden furniture. However, the man gestured for Tony to sit in an off-setting white reclining chair, much like one you see at a dentist's office.

"Sit." He said. He sat on a white stool beside the chair.

"What is your name?" He asked.

"Tony. Tony DiNozzo, sir."

"Now, Mr. DiNozzo, what is bothering you?" He asked, cracking his knuckles.

"I'm just-" Tony felt slightly embarrassed. "Not happy. I need happiness."

"Happiness? Well, I _did _guarantee it." He smiled. "Now, let's work on this. Close your eyes."

Slightly reluctant, Tony closed his eyes.

"Now, think about one of your happiest memories."

Tony sifted through memories, until he found one.

_Tony's Memory:_

_A green eyed boy, laughing, dashes down the hallway._

"_Mama no canna catch me!" The boy laughs. Suddenly, a shadow comes up behind him. Two hands scoop up the boy. He shrieks, then starts laughing._

"_Mama, you got me!" The boy laughs. The woman holding him laughs. Green eyes meet almost identical green ones._

"_I love you so much, sweetie." She whispers, kissing his forehead._

"_I know, Mama. You tell me all the time!" he says brightly. She laughs and hugs him tighter, clutching him to her chest._

Tony smiled, his eyes still closed. The man concentrated on Tony.

"Now, when I snap my fingers…you will become who you are in that memory."

_SNAP._

* * *

**Well? WELL!**

**Please, review guys!**

**It would make my week!**

**-Vi**


	2. Chapter 2

Ziva stared at Tony's empty chair nervously. Where was he?

She sincerely hoped he wasn't hung over.

Or still waking up from his "flavor of the week".

she made a face at the thought.

Did he even do that anymore?

Had he grown out of it already?

She was taken out of her thoughts by the sounds of the elevator. She looked to it, and got a glimpse of Tony's ruffled brown hair before the doors closed again. She stood up and walked to it, utterly confused. The doors opened again, and Ziva was suddenly being pulled into the elevator.

"Tony!" She cried. He was jabbing at the buttons in the elevator, grinning.

"Miss, you have got to try this!" Tony cried, pressing the buttons. Ziva stared at him.

"Tony?" She asked. He looked up.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Tony, what the hell are you doing?" She asked. He gasped.

"OH! YOU SWORE! I'MMA GONNA TELL!" He shouted. Ziva grabbed his arm. He turned around. Suddenly, he looked her up and down. "You're cute." He said with a sly smile. "What's your name, cutie?"

Ziva blushed, but raised an eyebrow. "Tony, what-"

"Bye!" He shouted, running out of the elevator. He almost immediately slammed into Gibbs.

"Whoa. Old dude, twelve o 'clock." He muttered.

"What did you say to me, DiNozzo?" Gibbs growled.

"Sorry, uh, sir." Tony corrected himself.

"Gibbs." Ziva went up to Gibbs. "Gibbs, he isn't right up here." She said, tapping her head. "In the elevator, he was behaving like- like a child!"

Gibbs stared at Tony. Suddenly, McGee entered the bullpen.

"Hey everyone. Morning, Tony." McGee said, sitting down.

"Morning, McGee." Ziva replied. Tony snickered.

"McGee." He snickered. McGee stared at him. "I should call you McGeek."

McGee rolled his eyes. "As usual."

Gibbs faced Tony. "Tony…..what did you do yesterday?"

"Can't remember." Tony replied. "Probably played with Garret. Why?"

Gibbs stared even harder at him. Tony looked around.

"Hey, do you guys have any toys around here? I'm getting bored." He flopped down at his desk, folding papers absentmindedly.

Ziva and Gibbs exchanged a look.

"Tony, do you feel all right?" McGee asked from his desk, frowning at Tony.

"Yeah, I guess." Suddenly, Tony froze. "You're not gonna make me go to the doctor, right?" He whispered. "I don't like doctors."

"N-no." Gibbs said. He sat Tony down at his desk. "But you're gonna have to stay here."

"Yes, sir." Tony said, as though he didn't quite believe Gibbs.

"Ziver, come here." Gibbs gestured for Ziva. She followed him into the elevator.

"What the hell is going on with him?" He asked. Ziva shrugged. "I don't know, Gibbs. Really don't."

"Go with him, back to his apartment. Stay with him the rest of the day." He said. "See if you find anything."

Ziva rolled her eyes, but knew better than to argue with the boss. "Yes, boss." She said, walking back over to Tony. She took him by the hand. "Tony, we're gonna go to your apartment, okay?"

"Okay!" he nods in excitement. "Are my parents home?" He asked anxiously. "I kinda don't wanna see daddy…he yells at me kinda a lot…."

"No, Tony, they're not home." She said gently. "I promise."

* * *

At Tony's apartment, Ziva sat him down in the living room with the TV on. She flipped to a cartoon channel.

"Awww, no!" Tony groaned. Ziva stared.

"Don't you like _this?" _She said, gesturing to the screen. Tony shook his head.

"I like crime shows. I wanna be a detective when I grow up!" Tony cried. Ziva shrugged and walked into the kitchen. He took the remote and flipped it to something. Ziva could hear sirens and shouting, and she smiled. First, she checked his medicine cabinet, looking for any strange medications or, she shuddered at the thought, any narcotics. She found nothing out of the ordinary: some men's vitamins, some Advils. Some older-looking pills prescribed for back pains. Ziva smiled as she remembered Tony on pain meds.

Next, she headed to his bedroom. She quietly went through his nightstand, and emptied its contents- an old leather notebook. She looks over on his bureau, and sees a white slip of paper. She picked it up and read it:

_Dr. Jacque Clampton_

_Therapeutic Hypnotist_

_Guaranteed Happiness!_

_1-800-567-9824_

She frowned: therapeutic hypnotist? Sounded like a load of crap. She tucked the slip into her jeans pocket, and went back into the living room.

Tony was still watching the crime show. A man sat at an interrogation desk with a lady.

"She killed Shaina! Kerry's the murderer!" Tony cried. Ziva looked at him.

"How do you know that?"

He sighed, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Well, Kerry obviously killed her. Shaina stole the photos, and threatened to post them after Kerry fired her. So, Kerry called her calmly and asked to arrange a meeting, a trade of sorts. Then, she knifed her in the neck, typed her 'suicide note', posed it so that it looked like suicide. Heck, it was believable- Shaina had clinical depression. Except she made a slip- that night, Shaina had had fiancé, Karl, drive her to the meeting. She told him she would not need a ride back. However, when he was driving along the road, later that night, he had picked up none other than hitch hiker Kerry, who had a red substance on her hands. She wiped her hands on her jacket and threw the jacket in the back seat, to frame Karl, which, DUH, didn't work, because her name was on the tag of the jacket. Whoop de do, Kerry Goldberg is our killer." He finished.

Ziva stared some more.

_Wow. Born-and-raised fed, hmm?_

She walked into the kitchen.

"Tony?"

"Yes?"

"I'm gonna take care of you tonight."

"Okay."

"And I'm making my specialty for dinner."

He peeked into the kitchen. "And what would that be?"

"Pizza delivery."

Tony cheered. "YES!"

Ziva rolled her eyes. Some things _never _change.

* * *

**Sorry for the long wait, got caught up with life XP**

**Please, guys, read and review!**

**Makes me HAPPEH!**

**Seriously, though. Review.**

**Love you all!**

**-Vi**


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